What Will My Monster Look Like?

I'm excited. I saw a photo of my little monster a week ago and I'm starting at this little black-and-white sonagram image in wonderment. It's really cool. But, like most first-timers, I had a hard time locating my baby at first. But, my doctor helped me. She said, "You see that little black blob? Yep, that's your baby." And then she made a wonderful simile about how babies are like parasites. My baby is like a parasite.

So, while I was searching the web for new a GYN, it got me thinking. I wonder what my baby will look like.

I hope it looks like my husband, well, if it's a boy, of course. If it's a girl, I just really hope it doesn't get my nose ... my old nose that is. She can get my new nose. It's very cute.

Wouldn't it be cool if my baby boy looks something like this:

Or, if my baby girl looks something like this:

But the way, my belly feels, I have a feeling it may look something like this:

Okay. Nap time.

Guess What. I Have an Effing Cold

Sigh. Now on top of the puke factor, I have an effing cold. And wanna hear the fun part? Because of the monster in my belly, I can only take certain cold medicines to help. I can't take DayQuil/NightQuil, which I LOVE. Because

1). it works and 2). It knocks me the f*ck out.

Now, I have to take the Tussin ... and not the good Tussin (Cough & Cold/Day & Night). I have to take plain, stupid Robitussin Cough. This. Sucks. Monkey. Butt.

When's said monster due?

Hi. There's a Monster in My Belly.

First things first. I am not perfect. I am far from perfect. I am adverse to perfection. So, why should I expect my first pregnancy to go perfectly?

I think there's a monster in my belly. I really do. I don't understand the shiny, happy, glowy perfection that my fiends describe as pregnancy. For me, so far, pregnancy can be described with one word: BLAAAAARFFF.

That's me hurling into my toilet. But, if you've been pregnant (or hungover) before, you know that already. Right? C'mon. I know I'm not the only one blarfing. Multiple times a day. For the last 7 weeks.

But with all that said, I'm excited (scared) to be pregnant and welcome a baby (monster) into the world (my little fishbowl).

And, this will be my thoughts (complaints) to help me through this very weird time. Good luck, the Reader Who Stumbled Upon This. It's really more for me than you.